My day would be so much easier if I had just read this in high school like I was supposed to. #tokillamockingbird #book #literature #homework #college
You know, it’s a funny thing, you can smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death, work yourself to death, and even eat yourself to death. But that’s all acceptable. The only thing you can’t do medically is screw yourself to death and yet that’s where they put all the obstacles.
Do you ever get this moment of clarity in the middle of reading a really absorbing book - especially a fantasy book, but with realistic fiction as well - when you just suddenly realize that oh my god none of this is real it’s entirely on paper none of these people exist the world is not actually graced with this beautifulness and much of this isn’t even physically possible and then you get really, really sad?
Because I get those moments sometimes.
JOHN. JOHN GREEN, PLEASE. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. I’M BEGGING YOU. DON’T DO THIS. JUST DON’T.
IF THIS BOOK CONTINUES IN THE DIRECTION IN WHICH I THINK IT IS HEADING, I WILL NEVER RECOVER. I WILL BE A BIG BUNDLE OF EMOTIONS THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROPERLY HANDLE AND WILL JUST DISSOLVE INTO A PUDDLE OF FEEEEEELINGS.
I AM ALREADY TRYING NOT TO SOB AND I AM ON PAGE 90 AND JUST HOLY FUCK I CAN’T OH GOD. I REALLY HOPE THAT I’M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT WHAT I THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN, BECAUSE IF I’M RIGHT, IT WILL BE BOTH A BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN AND HORRIFICALLY HEART-WRENCHING STORY (which we all know it is no matter what happens, but I mean that if my predictions are correct, John Green will have ripped out my heart with such eloquence that I won’t even be able to hate him for it) AND I JUST CAN’T.
And I mean, obviously I can’t even tell any of you what’s happening or what I think is going to happen because I am a good little non-spoiler-telling Nerdfighter and will do my best to keep these things as vague as possible but oh my god the urge to flip to the back of the book and read the last chapter is almost irresistible but I have to try to fight it because I can’t ruin this for myself, even if it is going to leave me sobbing for the next several days at the very least.
‘Course, I could be entirely wrong and find that I just have a completely horrible thought process and that things will not end the way I think they will, which would be GREAT (although disturbing on my end, because the shit I come up with in my head is really probably very unhealthy).
But I could also be right, or close, in which case I’m going to have a mental breakdown from all the beautiful sadness. Just. I am filled with such dread right now but I also just can’t stop reading.
LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!
I am ridiculously excited.
Mom: “So you’ll have it finished by tomorrow morning?”
Me: “Is that even a question?”
WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW, THE FAULT IN OUR STARS WILL BE HERE OR BETTER BE BECAUSE IF IT’S NOT I’LL CRY UNTIL IT IS.
